Dust Blitzrieg!!!

Today the cities of Sydney & Brisbane* were inundated by a Dastardly Cloud of Dust. Intelligence (or is it) reports have flocked in** stating that this Cowardly Attack was launched by the Separatist State of Western Australia (note the higlighted SS) which, as sources tell, is rumored to being the staging point of Hitlers Final Attack on Allied Forces*** Their Ziel (Goal), it seems, is to choke those residing on the East Coast to death via an insidious weapon, developed by heinous Nazi Party Scientists, called "Staubsturm" (Dust-storm). Whilst the attack has brought Sydney to almost a complete standstill (the CBD being closed for the duration of the attack as citygoers hid in bomb-shelters), Brisbanites have been 'Thumbing Their Noses' in disdain of the Surprise Assault. Stalwart Queenslanders all over the state have been resisting the effort of the 'Staubsturm', some reportedly going so far as to say "We've been eating peoples dust for years! whats a little more?". Some have shown the veracity of this statement by going so far as to eat as much dust as possible through the continued riding of roller-coasters all over the state!! (pictured above). Whilst authorities are being careful to highlight the dangers of such defiant action taken by these Brave Citizens, communities state wide are applauding such actions. "We can hack whatever dirt anyone throws in our face!!" So there Dust Storm!!!

Story continued on this link: Nazis Attack East Coast

Notes to reader (*):-

*

**They literally did flock in! Due to massive Military Budget Cuts, pigeons are once again the primary method of relaying Intelligence reports.
***Garbled communication, due to the heavy shelling of Berlin by the Russians, mixed up the time and place of Hitlers Final (but futile) Orders for Retaliation, moments before he shot himself in the head with a pistol on April 30, 1945. Loyal SS members have been patiently, albeit rather puzzled, waiting for their moment to strike. Actual orders most likely read something like this: "Angriff von westlich von Berlin! bombardieren Sie jene Ostbastard in den Staub, dem sie von kamen" which translates as "Attack from the west of Berlin! Bomb those eastern bastards (must be referring to the Russians) into the dust that they came from".

The author takes no responsibility for the amount of truth represented in this report: any complaint can be forwarded to his mummy at: crystalaitchison@hotmail.com